5 Questions Grooms Want To Ask But Are Too Embarrassed
A huge cause of wedding day disasters is miscommunication – and we’ve all ran in to misunderstandings with our partner at some point!
The truth is, there are many questions your groom may have that he is simply too embarrassed to bring up.
Take some time to consider a few things he will need to know ahead of the day and make sure you head into the celebrations with clarity, optimism and just the right amount of nerves!
Here are 5 Questions Your Groom Wants To Ask:
1. “We’ve planned our own vows, do I need to write them down?”
The vows are one of the most important parts of your wedding ceremony, if you’ve written your own you have probably spent ages coming up with the perfect wording and you will want to get it right. While it is nice to try and memorise your vows, this isn’t always practical and you will probably be very nervous on the day and might forget them!
Don’t be afraid to write the vows down – this allows you the choice to memorise and have them written down as back up, or to solely use the written version. Remember, this is your big day and visuals matter, your wedding photographer will be taking photos of you when you say your vows so you might want to make sure your notes look nice and aren’t simply scribbled on a piece of lined A4 paper.
2. “Who lifts the veil?”
It’s you and your partner’s big day, and odds are they won’t want to show you their outfit until they arrive for the ceremony. Don’t let the issue of who lifts the veil or when to lift their veil (if they wear one) have you pacing more than their inevitable delay to the venue (as is their prerogative).
The modern veil has undergone a bit of a transformation, and been replaced with flower crowns or simply hairstyles, however, if they are donning a traditional veil there are two options: Either their father lifts the veil when they are giving them away and revealing your partner to you, or you lift the veil just before you kiss. If you haven’t discussed this prior to the ceremony with your future father in law and they remain veiled after they have been given away to you, leave the veil in place.
3. “What side do I stand on during the ceremony?”
Traditionally, if you’re in a church facing the altar, the bride is on the left and the groom is on the right, with guests for the bride and groom matching by sitting on either the left or right hand side. For a same sex marriage, the guests will sit on the side of the person for whom they are attending the wedding for, or whom they know best, and there is no hard and fast rule on which side to stand on. However, if one side appears to have fewer guests, it can be helpful to sit on that side and even it out visually, especially for the wedding photographs.
4. “I hate public speaking, do I have to give a speech?”
While it is becoming quite common for brides to also give a speech at a wedding, this is not a speech instead of the groom, but as well as. You can opt out of giving a speech if you want; especially as it is your big day, but be mindful of the fact that no-one else can speak about your partner and what they mean to you more than you can. You only get one big day, and one speech on that day – think carefully over your decision as you might regret not speaking.
5. “What is bomboniere?”
Bomboniere are small tokens given by the newlywed couple to their guests, historically these wedding favours were sugared almonds but they can be literally anything you want, from small bags of sweets, to a bag of seeds, or a bath bomb. The bomboniere is essentially a gift from you to your guests as a thank you for joining you and act as a reminder of your big day after it’s over.
By Felicity McKee, Excalibur Press