5 People You Should Meet BEFORE Your Wedding
It’s all too easy to get caught up in the practicalities of wedding planning. There’s the venue, colours to choose for the flowers and the bridesmaid’s dresses – not to mention the all-important perfect bridal gown. Then there’s the stationary, the catering, wedding cars…The list goes on and there’s plenty of advice to be had on when and how to go about it all.
But how many of us take a moment to sit down with our spouse and think beyond the big day when, arguably, married life really begins? Yes, it may not seem like a priority when there is so much to do but it’s usually wise to consider the people that just might be a part of, or make a difference to, your lives after the big day.
Here are five people you should seriously consider arranging a meeting with:
1. A financial advisor
Now this might seem obvious, perhaps in terms of a loan for the wedding or honeymoon or a mortgage on the marital home, but your financial affairs run beyond that when you begin your life together. There are money management organisations and charities that will give free and unbiased advice on the practical, everyday things such as how you’ll manage and balance your financial responsibilities, or what approach you might take to the unexpected. These things might not seem important beforehand but even exploring one another’s attitude towards money and ironing out any confusion or differences can save a lot of headaches later on.
2. A spiritual advisor
We’re not necessarily talking religion here, although if you are religious then you might want to visit a priest or other religious practitioner. Spiritual advisors come in varied forms and often contain within their practices many pearls of wisdom when it comes to relationships. The Buddhist tradition, for example, emphasises compassion for others and withholding judgement. We might enter into marriage with rose-tinted spectacles but in all honesty we all know that marriage can be a bumpy ride at times. Having the skills at hand to deal effectively with issues when they arise can make the journey a lot smoother.
3. Your hair stylist
Okay, most of us will go for a trial run in the hairstyle and make-up department, but not all. You might have spoken over the phone and have a clear idea of how you want your hair and make-up to look on the big day, but are you sure the stylist is visualising the same picture? Avoid disappointment by arranging to meet him or her first. Take a picture of your dress, the flowers and anything else that might contribute to the overall theme or look, and even if you don’t go for a trial run then make sure you are both clear about what the end result will be.
4. Your in-laws
Yes, you did read that right! Not everyone has a whirlwind romance and a wedding within a fortnight – slight exaggeration perhaps – but it does happen. And if you’re one of those ‘love at first sight, let’s do it!’ couples, or you’re marrying into a different culture then a word of caution: Make certain to meet and get to know his or her parents first! When you’re both dizzy in love it might be easy to believe that it really can conquer all, sometimes it can, but often such things as unspoken expectations or clashing personalities can sour relations with in-laws and cause tension between the two of you in the long run. Getting to know your in-laws first can go a long way towards a happy and harmonious future together.
5. Distant relatives and friends
How many brides and grooms have greeted wedding guests with absolutely no clue who they are? Cousins they’ve never met but felt obligated to invite, his or her friends that you know only by name…There’s always at least one person that’s made the effort to attend, despite having never set eyes on one or both of you before. It might not be practical to meet these guests in person but meeting them over Skype or video chat, at least, will not only make them feel more welcome at your special day, but will also save you the embarrassment of having to ask them their name.
By Linda Browne, Excalibur Press