10 Tips For Surviving the First Year
So to help you through, here are our top ten tips for surviving the first 12 months.
1. Breathe – It’s not always easy, but when bickering takes a hold and you know silly little things are annoying you, take a deep breath. This will calm you down and stop you saying anything you don’t mean to say.
2. Don’t sweat the small stuff – Maybe he leaves his socks on the floor, perhaps her make-up is all over the bathroom, these things, although irksome, are not that big a deal. Force yourself to remember this when you know that you’re getting annoyed.
3. Remember the little things – Remember it is the little things that are important, not the big grand gestures. Do the dishes without deciding who does it first, have dinner ready if your spouse is working late, let them pick the movie on date night. These little things will add up to the big things and feed your marriage for the better.
4. Walk Away – Every couple argues and you will be no different. If you feel yourself getting really angry, take yourself off to cool down for a few minutes. It will give you time to let the fire cool down and stop you saying something you may not be able to take back.
5. Appreciate the Quirks – Appreciate each others little quirks because they’re probably what made you fall in love in the first place. When you are annoyed with each other, you may find it annoying how she eats chips with both ketchup and mayonnaise, or that he does his crossword in pen. Try not to let this happen, because they are the things that will make you smile.
6. Apologise When You’re Wrong – If you were wrong, then say so, don’t apologise for the sake of ending and argument, but if the fault lies with you than say sorry, and say it quickly and sincerely.
7. Make Time For Each Other – It sounds clichéd and silly, but don’t take your time together for granted just because you’re married and you live together. Make time to go out for dinner or to go to the movies or even have a DVD night or duvet day. These little moments of quality time will ensure neither of you ever feel taken for granted.
8. Both Families Are Important – Make equal time to see both set of parents or sides of the family. Both of these are important in your support network and in both of your lives. So make sure one side doesn’t get seen more than the other, it will cause resentment between yourselves and between your in-laws. Also be respectful of family traditions and realise that you are now a new family, so make your own traditions!
9. Be Patient – Appreciate that you are not the same person, and people do things in different ways. Just because your wife or husband may do things differently to how you do them, it doesn’t mean that it’s the wrong way. Learn to be patient and appreciate the fact that your strengths and qualities may be different.
10. Remember This – Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Our extra special tip on this one is to never let the sun go down on an argument, you never know what’s round the corner! No matter how heated the fight gets and how angry you feel, don’t let regret get a footing!